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Yikes! Husbsand has smokes

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1521

Mo, Stay strong and whatever you do resist the urge to light up. Or strangle anyone for that matter. ;p During the time where you find yourself craving, take a long walk, a hot bath, or meditate, do anything that will divert your attention away from smoking. If you wish, start a list of coping mechanisms to have on hand for these particular times. Many members on the site, old and new all have some great tactics. If we can here, everyone lend Mo a hand and give her some different ideas of how you handle these times. Take Care, Melanie __________________ The SSC Support Team

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

MO- YOU HAVE SAVES ALMOST $1000...........DON'T STRANGLE HIM!!

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 160

Oh yeah - I forgot! A lot of times our spouses are going to feel that we've abandoned them. It's a good idea to find out what their love language is and speak it daily so they know without a doubt that we're still here. If ironing his socks is what tells him how much you love him, then do it frequently. Assuming they're clean, you can love him without smelling his smokes! Jump him after his shower! Give her a backrub after her shower. Wash his/her car. Take them to a movie theater or non-smoking restaurant. When I think about it, the one who remains smoking must feel a bit like dirt and would benefit from knowing we still love them. gpw I love having 100 quit-buddies!

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 160

Mo, In the same boat with you. My husband smokes and although he goes outside to smoke, he smells like cigarettes and doesn't bother hiding them. I think, "If he were only in my shoes....". I've been trying to figure out whether or not I want to be bothered by his smoking. I have come to realize that I can decided to make it a major issue and be unhappy if I want. I really don't want to cop a militant attitude and will not tell him what to do (I know it doesn't work). I've reached the conclusion today that all I need to see is my quit. I can go to another room of the house BEFORE he gets back inside from his smoke if it bothers me that much. Being on NRT right now I don't really have the desire to smoke his cigs, but I know that I will not feel this confident when weaning off. By then I should have some coping skills down very well. Just keep in mind that your quit has nothing to do with the way he lives his life - that you are your own person and it is in your program to maintain - not his responsibility to change his lifestyle to make yours more cushy - I mean, he could if he wanted to, but it's not required. Maybe you could tell him what would help you. He can either help you or not. Be ready to accept his decision either way - don't hold it against him. Addictions don't like intruders, no matter who you are. It's not your husbands fault. Just hang on, go to a different room, go for a walk and remind yourself that you will do whatever it takes to be free of cigarettes. Take care, gpw [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 11 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 177 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $44 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Ok...I seem to be doing ok when I am at work. The cravings come and go but are stronger sometimes etc... But when I get home I know there are cigs there because my husband smokes. That is when it gets really tough. I think just because I know they are around. He hides them and doesn't smoke around me - my brain just yells at me reminding me that the smokes are just an arms length away. Any suggestions? besides strangling my hubby of course! which I have been very tempted the past few days ha-ha. Just a little grouchy I guess. Thanks "Mo"

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Mo, I am in the same situation. My wife still smokes, but keeps it away from me for the most part. The main problem that we face is that the smoke will stay in our spouses' clothes, hair, and on their breath. I must say that I have had more than a few times headed for where I knew the cigs were hiding, but could not, or would not give up all the torment and hard work I had put into this quit. Please resist the temptation. It just is not worth it. I think it may be a plus to quit with the spouse smoking because if you can resist with smokes so handy it is a snap to resist any other time. Just know that the smoke will not help you cope, will not help you relax, will not help you focus, and will not help you with anything except becoming a slave to an addiction. Don't wait until your doctor gives you the long face to finally quit. It just is not worth it. Hope this helps a little... You're not alone in this. Keep the Quit! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 12 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 381 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $57 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Hi Mo I can relate to the temptation you have but its so important to remain focused and remind yourself of all the positive reasons we've quit. There will always be others around who smoke and everytime you see someone instead of wanting to join them think how lucky we are that we DON'T JOIN THEM. It feels good to be able to walk the oposite direction and note to ourselves how much it stinks and how much better we feel. Hang in there and be proud of yourself. Hopefully hubby will soon follow.

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 989

Try to change your thinking as well as your behavior. Instead of feeling jealous and envious that your hubby has cigarettes, try to change your thought patterns to feel lucky that you are on your way to leaving your addiction behind. Someone here once said something like "Rejoice in your freedom rather than grieve for your slavery". This is soooo true! I know this is easier said than done - but besides enduring the physical withdrawal, changing your mind set is the next most essential part to a successful quit. Best wishes in your quit. Your marital relationship will probably deteriorate for awhile, but in the long run this will be so worth it. And my guess is that eventually, you will provide the role model for your husband to follow in your foot steps. Underneath it all, smokers HATE seeing others quit....but they watch us very closely every step of the way. This is possible. This is doable. Show yourself and him! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 285 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,128 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $997.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

Quit Meter

$802,620.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6349 Hours: 14

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 24

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45864

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

1,146,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 989

Wise woman that guitar players wife! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 285 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,145 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $997.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

Quit Meter

$802,620.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6349 Hours: 14

Minutes: 10 Seconds: 24

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45864

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

1,146,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

19 years ago 0 +0 / -0 832

Hey Mo here is a visual that Melanie suggested. Some times ya just got to suck it up and rimind yourself that your quit is your quit. If the old man wants to smoke tell him to take it outside. [center][IMG]http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c1/jrduffis/bath.gif[/IMG][/center] [quote] He hides them and doesn't smoke around me - my brain just yells at me reminding me that the smokes are just an arms length away. [/quote] If you lead by example I am sure that when your husband sees that you can do it, he will follow. Remind him every now and then how much $$$ you are saving by not smoking. Good luck MO and always remember that this is your life you are saving. Duffis :p duffis's Quit Stats Since Sunday, February 13, 2005, I've been smoke-free for: 346 Days, 16 Hours, 5 Minutes, 17 Seconds. I have saved $1,453.20 by not smoking 10400 cigarettes. By not smoking I have added 75 Days, 2 Hours, 25 Minutes, 52 seconds. to my life expectancy.

Quit Meter

$286,650.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6879 Hours: 14

Minutes: 44 Seconds: 33

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45864

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

1,146,600

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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Yikes! Husbsand has smokes