Hi everyone
I'm having a tough week :(. I just graduated from college in April and started a new job yesterday. I am a veterinary assistant and work in an animal hospital. Today, I am home. Here is the story in short form:
My first shift was yesterday and I was quite excited (scared but excited). When I got there, one of the staff members was crying at the desk because she had to put her dog down that morning and they were doing it out in the backyard. It didn't really upset me too much because we are taught to try an distance yourself because it will drain you really quick. I did fine with that whole situation but we had to call another person in to work for the poor girl who lost her beloved pet (obviously).
The next staff member came in to cover but she was hiding the fact she had the stomach flu because she felt so bad for the other girl. What a sweetheart but unfortunately one of my anxieties is getting sick away from my home. I washed my hands lots yesterday and thought I was fine.
Last night I got these unbelievable sweats and diarrhea (sorry to be gross) and I stayed home from work today.
I thought I had caught the flu but now I'm feeling better and am terrified that I stayed home because of anxiety.
Last year I had to quit my cooking job because of anxiety and grief (I lost my dog and was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome within a few weeks and it seemed to snowball on me) and now I feel like it is all happening again. I know that is ridiculous but even still, I feel like I'm failing again.
I really like reception work but this job seems to include assisting in surgery and other jobs with the animals and I am now getting anxiety attacks just thinking about being in surgery. What if I faint? I've been in a few surgeries (during my practicum) and leave after a few minutes. It isn't like I am grossed out but as soon as I step in the surgery door, I start to panic. I have to wear a cap and gown and it gets so hot and i feel like I'm hypersensitive to it and soon I'm drenched in sweat and feel like I'm hyperventilating. I think that is the biggest anxiety for me.
Also, I find starting this new job so overwhelming and I'm scared. Can anyone give me any advice because I don't want to quit this job! I've worke