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feeling anxiety over past


~m
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~m
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13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh Jaybe I am so sorry for your loss! We lost our son in Iraq four years ago... his birthday is coming up next week and the sadness feels like a great fog that is growing each day.  I think it must be normal to feel badly on anniversaries of loss and birthdays and holidays.  I think the pain changes in nature, but does not diminish with time.  Ashley's advice really rings true... be gentle with yourself and allow the grief to flow because fighting it never seems to help any :/  One thing I do is light a candle when he is most heavy on my mind for whatever reason... I put it with his picture and carry on with my day, but each time I see the candle or pass by I feel connected to him and allow the grief to kind of flow into the flame in little bits and pieces.  (Of course, care must be taken in leaving a candle lit (especially with little ones and cats about).  I don't know why this helps me, but it does.  One thing to remember is that you have felt this way before and you got through it... you will this time too. 
Ashley -> Health Educator
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Ashley -> Health Educator
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13 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Jaybe,
 
I am sorry you are having a difficult day today.  Unfortunately, sometimes down days are to be expected. Recognize that it is ok to feel down and know that it will pass.  Do things that comfort yourself and be gentle with yourself, take it easy.  There are things that have to get done but if you don't do a load of laundry, the dishes or other tasks today it won't be the end of the world.  Take the pressure off yourself in regards to tasks.  Also, take the power out of the pain; recognize it is normal to feel like this occasionally and ride it out.  Be present to the pain physically, meditate on it, feel it, recognize where it is coming from.  Often just allowing yourself to feel the emotion will allow you to let it go instead of trying to "fix it".
 
What do you need today? How can you care for yourself today?
 
 

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

jaybe
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jaybe
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13 years ago 0 57 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi all, I have been doing really good, but this morn woke up to almost a doom kinda feeling, I lost a 2 1/2 yr.old daughter back in 1991 around this time, I am feeling so gloomy and upset, I always miss her, but now the sadness and hurt just seems to be overwhelming . i am very emotional and just have no energy, want to hibernate, but I know i can't , have young children to care for, anyone have some advice to get myself together again   jaybe

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